Last month, a Responsible Sports Parent wrote to our panel of experts to ask:  “I coach a wrestling club. I have a couple of wrestlers that are "bratty." They want to do what they want; they roll their eyes when being coached or whistle when the coach is talking to them.  Should I give in to them or kick them off the team?”
- Thomas, a concerned coach.

We asked two of our experts to weigh in.  Brandon Slay, USA Wrestling Resident Freestyle Coach and 2000 Olympic Gold Medalist, had this to say:

“Coach, interestingly enough, some HS, College, and even Olympic level wrestlers can struggle with a similar enabled spoiled bratty attitude.  I definitely don' t think you should give in to their negative attitude because that enables them to continue to act out.  And, if they don't shape up and change their attitude over time then you should kick them off the team.  However, I am a big believer in grace and giving wrestlers a chance to prove to their coaches, teammates, and most importunity themselves, how bad they want to wrestle.  For example, because of lack of performance and a poor attitude, I am putting a wrestler under a probationary period right now for one month.  If he shapes up, changes his attitude, makes weight for the next tournament, and performs, I will consider keeping him on our Team.  However, if nothing changes over the next month, then I will remove him from our Team.  We must communicate clearly with our athletes and make the boundaries clear, and if they continue to cross those boundaries, their needs to be clear consequences.  If not, athletes will never learn, and we will continue perpetuate brattiness in our youth. “  

And Tina Syer, Chief Impact Officer from Positive Coaching Alliance answered:

"I hear you that coaching teenagers is not always easy! The good news is that I don’t think you have to make a choice between giving in to them or kicking them out of the club.

Although it may sound counterintuitive, I’d try giving these misbehaving wrestlers more responsibility at practice. Ask them to run a drill or to demonstrate. By putting wrestlers in charge, they often feel more invested in the drill going well, so they put in more effort and focus better.

If this does not work, and they are still acting out, I’d ask them to sit off the mat until they feel they are ready to re-join the team with the right attitude. I might also do this in the middle of a scrimmage match (or drill they really like). If they come back and are still acting out, then I’d sit them down again and tell them I’ll let them know when they can re-enter practice.

After letting them sit for a while, I would calmly talk with them about whether or not they feel they’re ready to take part in practice in a way that will benefit our club. Ideally, you do this in a way that is very low profile (so perhaps your assistant coach is still running the practice, and you can talk one-on-one with the player).

Many athletes who are acting out a practice are doing this to get attention (even if it is negative attention), so do your best to address these players in a calm way that does not inadvertently reinforce their behavior. The silver lining to this situation is that turning around wrestlers like these and getting them to be positive, contributing members of your club will feel like a tremendous coaching accomplishment!

Do you have a youth wrestling question you’d like to pose to our panel of experts? Visit us online and ask your question today!  We regularly post answers on ResponsibleSports.com and each month we’ll feature one question here at USA Wrestling.