1. Confused Roles-inflamed passion  2. Well-trained?  3. Over-all enjoyment    It is a phenomenon that has become more prevalent in the sport of wrestling.  With the idea that wrestling is an individual sport and national travel becoming more a part of wrestling for younger and younger age groups, the age of the Dad-Dash-Coach seems to have arrived.      Gather at any "big-time" youth tournament and people are more likely to see small tribes of parents with their kids as opposed to the large youth clubs that once dominated the landscape.  Parents now seem intent on filling a dual role in wrestling, being a proud supporter of their youth and purveyor of the keys to success in the sport of wrestling.      It is a difficult role for any parent to assume, and evidence of that can often be seen in the dustups that occur at youth events.  More than a few times the dad-coach has been accused of living out their success and failures vicariously through their own wrestler.  And, more than a few times tournament organizers have had to deal with nasty situations where a parent crossed the line of abuse towards their own child.  Being the dad-coach brings out a whole string of topics that the wrestling community needs to consider.  Undoubtedly, the dad-coach phenomenon is not something that will be done away with, but in the interest of the kids and the sport that we cherish there are ways to improve upon the role of the dad-coach.      Probably the over-arching concern that comes with being the dad-coach is the ability to maintain proper perspective.  Wrestling coaches in general are an intense lot; however, the dad-coach role seems to even intensify the situations.  A bad call isn't just a mistake against a kid on the team, now it becomes a slight to one's own flesh and blood.  The intensity most certainly goes up a notch.      The dad-coach must look for a way to balance both roles as parent and coach.  On the mat it is necessary for coaches to keep perspective and treat officials, opponents and tournament staff with respect.  Bad calls and tough losses are bound to occur; instead of allowing thinking to degenerate into conspiratorial scenarios, the coaching role must prove to be the stronger influence.      The dad-coach must maintain the level-headedness of a coach.  Tough breaks are times to showcase the work that needs to be done for a wrestler to ascend to a higher rank.  Even the youngest wrestler must be readied to accept both winning and losing with maturity.  When a call in the match changed the course of who won and who loss, it is a prime example of when wrestlers need to shoulder the burden.      Mark Perry, a red-shirt freshman for Iowa, recently lost a tough match in his hometown of Stillwater Oklahoma wrestling against the top-ranked Oklahoma State Cowboys-a team coached by Perry's own uncle, the wrestling legend John Smith.  After the loss, Perry had the maturity to say, "I don't like to make excuses."  Dad-coaches would do well to remember that statement.      The strongest advice most coaches give their wrestlers is to not make excuses, don't look to put the blame on others, but to shoulder it for it will make you stronger.  Dad-coaches are going to be susceptible to inflamed passions, but they have chosen the role of a coach.  The best advice may be for the dad-coach to teach their children-wrestlers to follow legendary Coach Dan Gable's advice, "Make Your Own Luck".      Sometimes for a well-trained coach it can be a little maddening when they watch a youth match.  Recently, a good example occurred at one of the Ultimate Challenge events.  Two young scrappers were out on the mat. On both sides, the coaches were of the family variety, moms and dads serving that dual role.  As one wrestler worked a half nelson, the defending wrestler's corner could be heard yelling "grab his head."    Trained coaches know that grabbinh his head isn't the sound way to defend a half nelson.  Sound advice though may not always be given from parents who are also coaches.  It is somewhat of a myth in wrestling that only really high-level athletes need high-level coaching.  The dad-coach (or in this case the parents) should make it a personal challenge to excel in the field of coaching.      Just using knowledge that they learned when they were wrestlers, or what they picked up at a couple local tournaments, doesn't exactly model the excellence that they are trying to instill into their own child that they are coaching.  The parent-coaches should seek out coaching clinics and real mat-time where they are on the mat working the moves with a partner their own size.  This "on the mat" real wrestling education will also give them a newfound respect for how difficult and tiring the sport of wrestling can be.  Parents must be prepared to build a strong foundation of wrestling skills for young wrestlers so that when they move on to higher levels, the next coach can truly advance the wrestler-child's learning.      Finally, another important thing for the dad-coach to remember is that the younger ages of wrestling are meant to engrain the enjoyment of the sport into the wrestler.  If the young son or daughter isn't having fun in wrestling, then it does not matter how badly the parent may want them to continue wrestling.  It is bitterly disappointing to see good young wrestlers quit the sport of wrestling because it became a chore instead of inherently fun.      Many outstanding American wrestlers started their careers relatively late compared to the tots and pee-wees that now chase around on the mats prior to tournaments.  This past summer's Olympic Silver Medalist Jamill Kelly did not start wrestling until the 9th grade.  So, what's the rush to indoctrinate into the militaristic discipline of wrestling at a young age?      Making sure that young kids love the sport of wrestling will go a long ways in keeping them in the sport until they are ready to light their own fires of determination and self-discipline.      Another important way that the dad-coach can make sure that their youngster is enjoying the sport of wrestling is to make sure they are surrounded by friends that love the sport as well.  The dad-coach and son often travel to tournaments alone by choice.  However, if the dad-coach would take a leadership role in getting more of the club's kids to a major event, the memories would certainly be even more memorable.  Who doesn't look fondly on the relationships that they built in wrestling while traveling to a tournament?      The dad-coach can still coach their own kid, but it would be a tremendous service to the sport of wrestling if even more dad-coaches grew the sport by reaching out the other kids in the club. Consider the single-mom that wants her kid to love wrestling, but doesn't have the ability to do it on her own.  The best dad-coaches are the ones that are selfless, not just for their own flesh and blood. They are ready to move beyond being a coach of their own and just be a coach.      The dad-coach is a growing segment of the wrestling community in America.  Passions have to remain in check, and professionalism must be a priority.  Finally, young wrestlers must build on the feeling of overwhelming enjoyment on the mat and not suppress that sense of fun.  The ultimate goal of the dad-coach should be the guy that loves the sport so much and succeeded in coaching his own kids that he is determined to become just a coach-the guy that will build a local club so that all young people have the opportunity to get to know the sport of wrestling.